![]() ![]() My friend Jody said, “I have yet to fully allow myself to accept not being that mom. ![]() In discussing this with friends, it turns out I wasn’t the only one putting this kind of pressure on myself. And they’re as thrilled as they’ve always been with their store-bought costumes. Having dropped this baggage, I can approach it with excitement and focus on having fun with my kids. But my attitude may have put a bit of a damper on their second favorite holiday.īecause of my nagging feeling that there was something I should be doing, but in all likelihood was about to fall short of (again), I approached Halloween with an air of uptight crankiness and dissatisfaction. I doubt they’ve suffered any major psychological scars from my past yearnings for joyful craftiness. Gradually, I figured out I can stand in awe and admiration of these moms without wishing to be them. If not the one on the cover of books filled with fun and “simple” family crafting projects, at least the one who actually uses said books instead of just buying them. The one who thrives on the challenge of taking her kids’ Halloween ideas and whipping them into works of fabulous costume art – all while involving the children in the most nurturing and enriching ways. She's the one who spends joyful afternoons with her kids, creating dolls made of acorns and birch bark and wool felt. You know the mom I was sure I could morph into with a little time and effort. What if we could let those things go and simply be who we are as people within the context of parenting? How much happier would the whole family be? What about the other, nonessential things we pressure ourselves to do and be for our kids? Not the stuff we’re already good at or genuinely want to learn, but the things we’ve assumed or convinced ourselves we should be doing. There’s plenty we can all agree we should do for our kids, like feed them, show them love and affection, read to them, and teach them to do the right thing in various situations. That mom lives and thrives in other women, but not in me. So what made this year different? These days, I no longer harbor a shred of illusion about magically becoming the kind of mom who makes creative homemade Halloween costumes happen. Store-bought costumes are the eventual outcome in my house every year. Instead, giddy with freedom and happiness, I put the kids in the car and we headed straight for the second-hand shop to buy costumes. When I asked my kids what they wanted to be for Halloween, I had no secret agenda for them to pick something that seemed easy to throw together from brilliantly repurposed items. I didn’t visit the craft store, hoping to be hit with creative inspiration as I stood in the aisles staring at rows of feathers and beads, felt and pipe cleaners. In preparation for Halloween, I didn’t wonder if this would be the year I finally learn how to use a sewing machine. ![]()
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